*whispers*….come close. No closer, I want to tell you a secret…
Just between you and me, I don’t what to write this week…I’m trying (and succeeding) to distance myself from my past. It is not something I can do for very long, but hey it’s Christmas, so you can’t blame me for trying.
Dissociation is great for this. Sometimes I can feel and act normal for short periods. But then…what to write for my blog about healing from child abuse? I could repost an older post. Or I could tell you about Les Miserables. I loved it, but I’ll leave it at that.
Ok…here’s what’s really on my mind. Since my repressed memories started to surface, along with the grief, pain, shame, and anger…came a crisis of faith. I have alluded to it here on the blog, but not fully discussed it. Why is it that the things that pain us the most deeply are the hardest to talk about?
I’m ready to talk about that faith crisis and how I am getting through it. (I wish I could say it is in the past, but it isn’t.) This time though, I don’t mean blogging about it, I mean that I intend to write a book. I’ve already started it.
This is where “Your Turn” comes in. One day I went to a church bookstore, searching for a book that could help with the pain, I didn’t find one. I told my son, who was with me, “I will have to write the book I need–for someone else.”
So tell me–what would you be looking for in THAT book? I know my own story, but I also know there are other stories. Perhaps there are questions that others have asked that I haven’t thought of. Perhaps there are answers that others have found that are still hidden to me. So I need your help. What came to your mind as you read this post? What would you like a book like this to cover? What questions are you still searching? What answers would you like to share?
The questions are for friends/family and loved ones of survivors too. What are your questions?
I welcome your responses, here, on facebook or in email. You can email me at lesliesillusions at gmail.
Photo attribution: Larisa Koshkina