Rebuilding When Life Whacks You

I received a big disappointment today.  It was not unexpected, but it still hurt.  So I’m thinking today about how we recover when you feel like one of the moles in a game of Whack-a-mole.

Trouble is this is where I am supposed (by my own rules) to tell you the problem and some how wrap it up in a positive way.  But I’m still stinging and trying to figure out the wrap up for myself.  Maybe we can figure this one out together, what do you say?

The hammer that whacked me down today is another rejection on my book proposal.  My book is about healing from childhood abuse, but different from my blog.  The book is specifically about healing your relationship with God.  The feedback I have received is that my writing is good, but the market is flooded with this topic or the competition is too stiff.  Rejections are part of writing, I know that.  This is far from my first rejection, and far from being my last.  But some rejections hurt more than others and this was one of those.

So I know what the professionals think, and I respect that, after all they do this for a living.  At the same time though, I think I understand something about abuse: the wide-spread nature of it–and the pain and difficult recovery process that they don’t. Or maybe I am delusional.  (That is the reason for my blog name Leslie’s Illusions . . . a reminder to myself not to take myself to seriously.)

What do you think?  If you are a survivor, do you read books about healing from abuse?  Blogs?  Would you read a book like mine, about spiritual healing even though I am not a pastor or have a master’s degree?

Finally, what do you think about self-publishing?  I know what writer’s think (it is a hotly debated topic).  I understand the work involved.  What I want to know is–as a reader what do you think about self-publishing.  Do you have a bias for or against it?

Okay, writing this has helped me clear my head a bit.  Writing always does for me. I am reminded of my heroes.  They are my heroes because they overcame the obstacles in their path.  It wasn’t easy for them.  Heroes are formed from heroic battles whether they be on the field or in the soul.

I don’t know what will happen with my book.  For now I’m going to finish writing it  (I know that sounds weird, but that is how non-fiction works.  First you write a proposal then when a publisher accepts it you write the book.)  So I will finish writing it. Maybe only a handful of people will read it, and I will move on to something else.  Life is like that sometimes.  Or maybe I will get my book out there and it will help a lot of people.  The only way to know the end of this story is to finish the book and get it out there in the best way possible.

What about you? Does thinking about your heroes help you have strength to get up again after repeated hammer blows?  What else helps?  Even Goliaths can be overcome.  Let’s go get ’em.



  1. There is always a need for ALL kinds of books. . . . even if you only reach one person and help them. Have you thought about making it an e-book and just putting it out there somewhere?

  2. You do what you feel is best, lots of books started out with no publishers accepting the book except in serial form (i.e. Dickens, Dumas) and yes, we need to know healing from the perspective of the victim.

  3. It must feel difficult to stay motivated. I wonder, if you were to submit another proposal in 6-12 months, would the same publishers think differently?

    I would read any book about healing by a layperson. If you feel a strong conviction to write the book, I would say ‘go for it’. Maybe you are just looking in the wrong direction for publication. Sometimes these sorts of situations have a habit of opening doors when and where we least expect it. Good luck

    • Thanks Cat! I do feel strongly about this book. It is hard to know if my tenacity in this is an admirable trait like Thomas Edison (remember how long it took him to develop the lightbulb) or if I am just delusional thinking that I am a “special snowflake”? It’s hard to say. at this point.

      Perhaps you are right, something may surprise me.Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

  4. It sounds like you need to press ahead and trust everything will unravel when the time is right. Do you have an agent who can negotiate with publishers?

    Full steam ahead, Leslie

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